I Don't Wanna Lose

2020 is definitely the year of sofila. Her latest single "I Don't Wanna Lose" is sort of a Kaytranada meets Neo vibe with a scent of darkness. A total must-add to your chill r&b playlists.

Sophia's 7 track mixtape I don't remember October came out last week and it's overabundant with beautiful collabs including today's highlight.

Reading the backstory of "I Don't Wanna Lose" I knew I had to share it as it provides a lot of context and adds a whole new layer to the experience.

I can recall my first experience of smoking nicotine in the beginning state of my eating disorder. Indeed, in the backseat of my friend’s Mercedes Benz. At the time, we all, as in myself and three of my friends, were experiencing body dysmorphia and sought out different, even sometimes extreme, ways to lose weight. One of these was through developing a juul habit. At one point it became the main way I would suppress my appetite and fuel my eating disorder even further. Days I would go by without eating, but, after a bite of food, a binge ensued. 

This track finishes off my mixtape with nostalgic cries for the fleeting sensation a substance once provided. There was a point in my life where I was quitting and relapsing from nicotine, afraid I’d never have the willpower to fully rid of the drug. Today I can say I’m over six months clean from it’s grimy touch, though, for my vocal chords’ sake, I wish I’d never picked up the habit to begin with! “I Don’t Wanna Lose”, ties up the closing chapter of, “I Don’t Remember October”, through reminiscing on past events but making strides forward and vowing to do better.